About a year ago, I was working as an attorney for the state. I was working long and frustrating hours for a giant bureaucratic mess. I was uninspired, tired, and unhappy… and I had only been an attorney for 7 months.
When I first started undergrad, I knew I wanted to be a teacher. I was excited about it. I was working with kids. I wrote essays about it for school. But then I started to get really good at school… like 3.96 GPA good. And I thought, I can't be a teacher, I'm too smart for that… so I decided I was going to be a lawyer.
Luckily, Teach For America gave me the chance to be a teacher before law school. And I was so inspired by my experience, I decided I was going to work in School Law and Education Policy. I was going to go to law school so I could be an advocate for students and education.
But that didn't work out. In part because I took some time off to become a mother and had a hard time finding employment, and in part because school law jobs don't actually do the inspiring things I thought they would, the school law career didn't work out.
So I took the state attorney job. I had a cool job title. And I was miserable. Luckily, my husband was able to provide for my family while I dove back into education. I started off substitute teaching in a few schools in my area and in an urban charter school. Two months ago, I was offered a full time teaching position.
I knew taking this teaching position would be the end of my legal career, but since I had not been hired by any of the education related legal positions, I took it.
I have spent the past two months in a huge realization that I was meant to work in education. There are moments of joy and inspiration that no legal position could provide for me. I also hit "flow" where I am so into my work, I don't even feel like I'm working.
My ego is still bruised and wary about the legal career not working out. I spent so much time and energy getting my law degree from a top law school and I had pretty good grades and some awesome credentials. And people think you're really smart when you tell them you're a lawyer… but what does all that mean anyway? How is that going to change the world? What does all that matter if it doesn't make me happy? Should I spend years working in a career that I have no love for, just so everyone knows how smart I am? Or should I spend every day working to improve the lives of students and the state of education? Should I be excited to work and hit "flow" and joy throughout the work week? I choose the latter.
So this is my first blog post, sort of a justification that I probably wouldn't need if I had more control over my ego. I'm hoping to blog about education related topics, and yes, that includes education law, but it also includes pedagogy, education policy and politics, and even great ideas for classrooms. I'm not expecting any followers, but just a place to help put down my ideas. I titled the blog, "Light Shining Bright" based off of this quote by Marianne Williamson. It is out of love, and not fear, that I have chosen my career and I will not be afraid to let my light shine bright.
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are younot to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." -Marianne Williamson
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